I am currently on vacation, visiting my family in Tennessee. Compared to where I live, they live in the middle of nowhere, and with my imagination, that is a rather good place to let it run wild. So far, I've warded off my usual nightmares and have slept pretty good...that was until my parents went away for the night to celebrate their anniversary and I realized I feel a lot safer in the house when my dad is sleeping in it.
I awoke from a frightening dream only to hear a suspicious noise. When I looked out the window, all I could see was a cloak of darkness and I involuntarily thought of every single scary movie that I have ever seen. That was at 2am. I started to doze off an hour after my freakish encounter with the night time view in my father's backyard. Cue Rex and his guard-dog bark, a barking that kept up for a good 3 minutes, though even one solitary bark would've thrown me into just as much of a panic. Though he fell silent and I saw that nothing was there, I was completely freaked out at that point and refused to allow my eyes to shut until the light of the morning sun started to shine over the hills. Logically, I thought, all the scariest parts of those damn movies were at night, so if something bad is going to happen, it will happen before the sun rises. Not logical at all, I know, but I'm wired out from fear and starting to get a tad pissed at myself for even allowing it to get to this extreme, though I will reiterate: one girl with a wild imagination, in the middle of nowhere and it's one dark night. Not a pleasant equation, if you ask me, but then again, I could be biased...I'm that girl!
It is now almost 5am. I'm silently willing that giant star to move across the Earth and start waking up so that I may attempt to fall asleep. I'm also praying that both of my boys will decide today is a sleep-in day. Of course, I pray with an acceptance that God might just tell me no...if I can just fall asleep in the next 30 minutes, at least I'll get in one long cat nap!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Freedom of Time
First & foremost, I would like to extend an immense amount of gratitude to all those who fought for our freedoms, who left their families behind to fight for all the liberties that ours have today. To all the soldiers, past, present & future, God bless you! It is wasn't for you, I may not have the freedom to express myself here today.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It has been quite awhile since I've had a chance to sit down to write. I probably could've done a few simple sentences here and there, but I know that is only a good idea in theory. The moment I sit down to write even a sentence, a whole blog of sentences spills out onto the keyboard. Then, before I know it, I've stayed up a whole lot later than I intended.
Today I have a whole month's worth of inspiration flowing through me, though most of it was acquired in the last week. Going on, in detail, about the last month would require alot of time. I spent the entire weekend focusing on my boys.
Create awesome memories for the 4th of July?
Check.
Clean the house & pack for me & two kids?
Definitely not checked.
Our flight leaves for Tennessee in 36 hours. That ticking wall clock, as usual, is my enemy. Since I have so much to do in so little time, I'll make this short & sweet.
Life can be amazing. It sure can throw a mean curve ball sometimes, but the most important thing to do, every day of your life, is to live it like it's going to be your very last. I have been attempting to practice this philosophy all my adult life and for most of it, I have succeeded. But I'm sad to admit that there were stints of time that I ran through my days in a haze, when I wouldn't let Sean stop to pick the dandelion and let him blow it in the wind. That isn't to say that we had a rush of days every day, but there were enough in which there was no "wasted time". I thought I would be able to slow down the moving hands, and really enjoy my kids, especially with Connor growing up through his first year. As I watch him crawling around, eating on his own and playing with his older brother, I am baffled by the fact that he's already nine months old. I feel like I had a baby for a week! Then I look at Sean and realize he's going to be 4 and it dawns on me how fast the days are going by. Even looking back over this last month, I can't believe it's already July!
In the passed 30 days, I've been making amazing memories, spending good time with friends and family, sharing the most precious thing of all...time.
Life. It's precarious. Like the fireworks exploding in the sky right now, that is how our life is: big... brilliant...beautiful. And over before we know it.
Life is about falling in love and getting your heartbroken, it's about forgiving yourself when you're the one who did the breaking; about loving and losing; about making tough decisions and making easy ones; about letting go and moving on. Sometimes it's about not listening to someone else and just following your heart. Other times, it's about taking good advice. No one is perfect, but most of us have good intentions. We are going to fall, then get back up, then most likely fall again. We all get hurt. We all suffer. We all have baggage. We've all had successful attempts at something, only to have it followed by a failure of a different nature. But we also have these amazing things called emotions, and they let us scream and yell or cry or break into tiny hysterics with your best friend over the 'funniest thing ever!'
I'll admit it: I sometimes find myself chuckling over something that happened forever ago...Who cares if I look a little schizophrenic, quietly laughing to myself. It was a good memory.
There is something magical in every day life, something extraordinary in the ordinary everyday. That's what this blog is really all about...I'm telling you to stop. I'm telling you to look. I'm telling you that when you make time, you can stop time, even if just to freeze a moment to go back to in memory someday. Because in the end, nothing will matter more in death than knowing that you lived. In the end, when you have time to look back on your life, what will you see on rewind?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It has been quite awhile since I've had a chance to sit down to write. I probably could've done a few simple sentences here and there, but I know that is only a good idea in theory. The moment I sit down to write even a sentence, a whole blog of sentences spills out onto the keyboard. Then, before I know it, I've stayed up a whole lot later than I intended.
Today I have a whole month's worth of inspiration flowing through me, though most of it was acquired in the last week. Going on, in detail, about the last month would require alot of time. I spent the entire weekend focusing on my boys.
Create awesome memories for the 4th of July?
Check.
Clean the house & pack for me & two kids?
Definitely not checked.
Our flight leaves for Tennessee in 36 hours. That ticking wall clock, as usual, is my enemy. Since I have so much to do in so little time, I'll make this short & sweet.
Life can be amazing. It sure can throw a mean curve ball sometimes, but the most important thing to do, every day of your life, is to live it like it's going to be your very last. I have been attempting to practice this philosophy all my adult life and for most of it, I have succeeded. But I'm sad to admit that there were stints of time that I ran through my days in a haze, when I wouldn't let Sean stop to pick the dandelion and let him blow it in the wind. That isn't to say that we had a rush of days every day, but there were enough in which there was no "wasted time". I thought I would be able to slow down the moving hands, and really enjoy my kids, especially with Connor growing up through his first year. As I watch him crawling around, eating on his own and playing with his older brother, I am baffled by the fact that he's already nine months old. I feel like I had a baby for a week! Then I look at Sean and realize he's going to be 4 and it dawns on me how fast the days are going by. Even looking back over this last month, I can't believe it's already July!
In the passed 30 days, I've been making amazing memories, spending good time with friends and family, sharing the most precious thing of all...time.
Life. It's precarious. Like the fireworks exploding in the sky right now, that is how our life is: big... brilliant...beautiful. And over before we know it.
Life is about falling in love and getting your heartbroken, it's about forgiving yourself when you're the one who did the breaking; about loving and losing; about making tough decisions and making easy ones; about letting go and moving on. Sometimes it's about not listening to someone else and just following your heart. Other times, it's about taking good advice. No one is perfect, but most of us have good intentions. We are going to fall, then get back up, then most likely fall again. We all get hurt. We all suffer. We all have baggage. We've all had successful attempts at something, only to have it followed by a failure of a different nature. But we also have these amazing things called emotions, and they let us scream and yell or cry or break into tiny hysterics with your best friend over the 'funniest thing ever!'
I'll admit it: I sometimes find myself chuckling over something that happened forever ago...Who cares if I look a little schizophrenic, quietly laughing to myself. It was a good memory.
There is something magical in every day life, something extraordinary in the ordinary everyday. That's what this blog is really all about...I'm telling you to stop. I'm telling you to look. I'm telling you that when you make time, you can stop time, even if just to freeze a moment to go back to in memory someday. Because in the end, nothing will matter more in death than knowing that you lived. In the end, when you have time to look back on your life, what will you see on rewind?
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